I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
