I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
