I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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