dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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