I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
