he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
