i permit you to call me
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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