Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
