One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
