It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
