I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
