Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Randomize
