Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
