can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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