u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
