thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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