i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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