moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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