Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
