i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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