Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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