I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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