Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
