the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
