Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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