me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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