Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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