Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize