Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
