Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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