bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
