Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
