She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
then he tried to convert me to islam
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
