In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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