Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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