have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Randomize
