i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
