Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
