Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
