Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize