I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I party with great urgency now.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
