trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
