Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
