You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
