i think i have herpe
just one?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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