Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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