I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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