i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
