We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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