I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize