can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
