I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
