wat bout pragnant strippers??
love makes seman taste better
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize