It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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