remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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