are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
