you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The power of my boobs compel you
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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