I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think my fart just growled at me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
