a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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