I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
