I hate your face
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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