im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm having to shit out rocks
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