he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
tell me about the fingering
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