when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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