i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize