Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
