i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
