No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
